I am sitting here, eating my cereal sans milk contemplating going for a run, cleaning my room, checking my bank statements, and other things I know I will not do. To say that I am a procrastinator is an understatement at most. I think I have a fear of the unknown. That's it! I've got it! I do not like not knowing! Yet I love not knowing. Eh I am about as complicated as it gets.
I have also realized that aside from having a fear of disappointing myself, I have a worse one of disappointing others. In particular society. There is so much I want to do with my life that does not include being in the workplace, and yet I am spending the next for years at an institution to teach me the skills I need to do just that; be in the workplace... for the rest of my life. Tell me that doesn't sound terrifying! I have a hard enough time choosing what I want to have for breakfast in the morning, (you should have seen this mornings scuffle), how am I going to choose what I want to do forever?... FOR EVE RRRRRR.
The problem lies in the fact that I am a multifaceted person with a personality to match. I am never really consistent in what I wear, what I eat, who I like, what I listen to. My decisions are constantly changing. So how will I know if I choose a vocation now, I will like it when I am 20?, 30?, 40? Will I really want to do it till the day I cannot work any longer?
